LIFE

Most food pushers are well-intended, if misguided, but others may be trying to hurt or sabotage you. Here are expert tips to help handle every type of food-pushing situation you may encounter this year.Festive foods“It’s the holidays. Let loose a little bit!”“One drink won’t wreck your diet!” “You need to eat more; you’re too skinny!”“Just try a bite. I worked all day cooking this. I promise you’ll love it!”If you’ve shared a meal with other people, chances are you’ve heard someone try to push someone else to eat or drink. And the holidays are primetime for “food pushing.”The holiday season is often a parade of rich meals, indulgent treats, and overflowing drinks—tempting you not only to indulge in less-than-healthy food, but also to eat too much of it.Overindulging by your own choice is one thing. Still, sometimes people overeat or eat foods they don’t want because they feel pressured to do so by others, says Susan Albers, a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic specializing in eating issues and the author of seven books on mindful eating.These “food pushers” can make you feel stressed out, anxious, attacked, angry, and/or regretful. In some cases, it may even make you avoid attending certain functions.(In the meantime, use these 29 simple techniques to reduce holiday stress and anxiety.)gpointstudio/Getty ImagesWhy people push food on othersThere are a lot of social rituals, memories, and emotions that go with food and the holidays, so it’s not surprising that people may feel more invested in getting you to eat during special occasions.“Food is a great connector. It can be an expression of love and a way to strengthen bonds,” says Dr. Albers.Not all food pushing is done in good faith, however, and there are seven main reasons people tell others how to eat, says psychologist Jeff Gardere, an associate professor and course director of behavioral medicine at Touro College in New York City.KindnessFeeding others is a very primal way of showing care. It may be hard to feel in the moment, but the person trying to push you to eat something most likely has good intentions.ConcernSome loved ones may worry when they see you not eating. They may be concerned that you are being too restrictive or picky, and it’s harming your mental or physical health. (These worries are not always correct, but if this happens a lot, or comes from someone you really respect, you may want to consider whether their concerns about your health are justified.)JealousySome people see dieting or weight loss as a competition. Rarely, people may try to sabotage your attempts to get healthier by getting you to overeat or break your goals. It is an attempt to keep you from being successful when they feel like they aren’t.Misguided moralityFood is food, but many people have come to associate certain foods as being “good” or “bad.” So if you’re being “good” by passing up an unhealthy treat, then they may feel like they are “bad” and want to convince you to join them to make themselves feel better.TraditionIn many cultures, certain foods are a big part of holiday traditions. When you decline to eat a certain food, your loved ones may see that as declining to participate in the family traditions.ValidationSomeone who has put considerable effort into cooking something may push you to eat it as a way of validating their hard work and their cooking skills.Different experiencesSomeone pushing you to eat something may simply not understand your feelings about certain foods. For instance, you may know that one drink will send you on a binge, but because that isn’t an issue for them, they don’t see why it’s a problem for you.(Be a good example by giving these healthy holiday food gifts that aren’t fruitcake.)What to say to people who push food on you during the holidaysKindness, courtesy, and empathy go a long way in resolving issues during the holidays. Here are some tips from our experts to help you handle every type of food-pushing situation you may encounter this year.Know what your boundaries are in advanceDecide what you want to have and what you want to avoid before going to any holiday gathering. This way you won’t have to decide in the moment. Stick to your boundaries.Example: “I’m sticking to seltzer water tonight, thanks!”(Here’s how to set boundaries.)Acknowledge the love behind the requestMany food pushers are simply trying to express their love through food. Acknowledging this will help them feel loved back, whether or not you eat the food.Example: “You remembered how much I love your baked brie, and that means so much to me! I’m going to pass for now, but you are so thoughtful, and I love spending Thanksgiving with you.”Try a little humorKlaus Vedfelt/Getty ImagesLaughter is the best social lubricant, so try and keep your reply light-hearted.Example: “Darn, unless you’re offering to be my new personal trainer and deal with my back sweat for the next month, I think I’d better pass on seconds.”Compliment the chefIf someone has worked hard to make you special food, it’s polite to try a bite or two, but if you really don’t want to or if it will harm your health, it’s fine to offer your compliments and leave it at that.Example: “This cake looks like a work of art, and I’m sure it tastes just as amazing! You are such a talented baker, and I look forward to trying your food another time.”Always be politeEven if you think someone’s intentions are not good—like a jealous sibling trying to make you look bad—answer as if their intentions are good. You’ll look like the better person, and they won’t know they got under your skin.Example: “Thank you so much for thinking about my health, that really means a lot to me! So I’m sure you’ll understand why I have to pass this time.”Be OK with a little awkwardnessSaying no is uncomfortable for most people, and one way to deal with that discomfort is to just acknowledge it.Example: “That food really looks delicious, and I don’t want to offend you, but I’ll pass this time. I hope you understand.”Be honestSometimes loved ones push food because they don’t understand why you’re saying no. You don’t owe them an explanation, but sometimes letting them know why it’s important to you can help smooth things over.Example: “I’ve been working really hard with my nutritionist to get my diabetes under control, and sugary foods are a big trigger, so I would appreciate it if you don’t bring me any dessert.”… or tell a white lieLying isn’t a great strategy, especially when speaking with loved ones, but sometimes a white lie can give you an out while sparing the other person’s feelings.Example: “I’m so sorry, I ate before I came and I’m so full! Next time I’d love to try your fruitcake.”(This is how to stop being a people pleaser.)Offer an alternative way to celebrateBetsie Van der Meer/Getty ImagesFood isn’t the only way to celebrate together, so if someone wants to use eating or drinking as a way to connect, you can try suggesting a different activity.Example: “Instead of going out for brunch, what if we walk around the Christmas market?”Ask for their helpPeople generally love to help, especially during the holidays. Let them know how they can help support you.Example: “I’m so close to my weight-loss goals! It would mean a lot to me if you could support me and not bring the office treats into my cubicle.”Redirect the attentionOne way to deal with people who push food maliciously or repeatedly is to direct the attention away from you and toward their behavior.Example: “Wow, you are really focused on what other people are eating! Why is that?”Change the subjectIf someone simply won’t take “no” for an answer, it may just be time to change the conversation and move on.Example: “Nah, I don’t need ice cream right now, but tell me about your new job—do you like it?”Share health information wiselyTelling everyone that lactose gives you terrible diarrhea, and so you won’t be eating the cheese dip, isn’t good dinner etiquette. Still, it’s OK to let people know if a certain food affects your health.Example: “These rolls are beautiful, and they smell amazing! But I’m on an anti-inflammatory diet to help my arthritis and if I eat them, my joints will hurt. Thank you for understanding!”Say what you will doWhen it’s less about the food and more about the activity surrounding the food, letting people know you’ll still be participating can help them back off the food pushing.Example: “I’ll skip the popcorn and hot chocolate, but I’m excited to snuggle up with the family and watch Elf together!”Be firm and repetitiveAt the end of the day, you are the only person who gets to decide what you eat. You are under no obligation to give people a reason for choosing food, nor are you responsible for managing their feelings. “No” is a complete sentence.Example: “No thanks.” Repeat as many times as necessary.Bottom lineRegardless of your reasons for turning down food, it’s important that you be true to yourself, genuine, and polite, says Dr. Gardere. “This will engender mutual respect and will keep it from turning into an awkward situation because your response comes from the heart just as does their offer,” he says.Next, read up on holiday issues only people with anxiety will understand. […]

Tomatoes are a welcome addition to most sandwiches, salads, sauces, and burgers. But can dogs eat tomatoes?Food for thoughtMany people love tomatoes. And many dogs tend to love human food, whether it’s good for them or not.While nice, red, fully ripened tomato fruit is generally safe for dogs to eat, some parts of the plant can be toxic to dogs. Here’s what the experts need you to know about feeding tomatoes to dogs.Can dogs eat tomatoes?Generally speaking, dogs can enjoy the same types of tomatoes—and parts of a tomato—that humans enjoy.Jerry Klein, DVM, chief veterinary officer of the American Kennel Club (AKC), says you can feed dogs ripe tomato fruit in moderation, but adds that dogs tend not to really like them, they don’t need to eat them, and they may end up with stomach issues.In other words, since you don’t need to let dogs eat tomatoes, and since some parts of a tomato plant can be dangerous for dogs, it’s likely best to avoid feeding dogs tomatoes altogether.Are there parts of a tomato plant dogs should not eat?Experts make clear to only feed a dog fully ripened tomato fruit, not unripe tomatoes or the plant’s stems or leaves. As a general rule of thumb, a dog should not eat any green parts of a tomato.“Unripe fruit or plant material can cause vomiting and diarrhea,” says Tina Wismer, DVM, the senior director of toxicology for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) Animal Poison Control Center.“The toxic compound is called tomatine, and it decreases in the fruit as it ripens.”According to the AKC, tomatoes also contain a toxin called solanine, which is also primarily concentrated in the green part of tomatoes, such as the stems, leaves, and unripened fruit. It can be dangerous for dogs in large quantities.That means you should not let a dog eat a growing tomato or other parts of the plant, and dog owners who grow tomatoes may want to take some precautions against curious canines.That could mean planting tomatoes somewhere your dog can’t access, or it could just mean placing tomato cages or other fencing around the plants (which is often a good idea for supporting tomato vines anyway).Laureen Carruthers Photography/Getty ImagesCan dogs eat tomato sauce?Experts say as long as tomato sauce is from the fully ripe fruit—i.e., red tomatoes—it should be safe for a dog to eat in moderation.It’s probably best to avoid pre-made, packaged, or canned tomato sauce, however, because it tends to contain ingredients that are generally not good for dogs, such as sodium (salt), sugar, corn syrup, corn starch, and preservatives.What if a dog eats too much tomato fruit, stems, or leaves?The AKC says if dogs eat too many tomatoes or green parts of a tomato, they may experience tomatine poisoning.Symptoms of tomatine poisoning include:gastrointestinal symptoms, such as vomiting and diarrheatremorsseizuresunexplained muscle weaknessloss of coordinationheart problemsWhat to do if a dog ate green tomatoes, tomato plants, or has signs of tomatine poisoningIf a dog has eaten green tomatoes, or green parts of a tomato plant, experts recommend monitoring closely for symptoms of tomatine poisoning. Contact your veterinarian as soon as possible if symptoms occur, or contact Animal Poison Control at 888-426-4435 for advice on how to proceed.If a dog does not develop any symptoms and seems fine, they likely did not consume enough toxins to pose a danger and should safely pass the toxins in their urine or feces.If a dog does have tomatine poisoning, a veterinarian will typically administer formulas to induce vomiting or chemicals that help remove the toxin from the dog’s system. According to the AKC, in most cases, the prognosis for dogs with tomatine poisoning is generally good, and dogs tend to recover fully with treatment.How should you feed a dog tomatoes?Experts say you should prepare tomatoes for dogs the same way you would for humans. That means washing the tomatoes, removing any green parts such as the stems or leaves, and cutting them up into bite-sized pieces to avoid the risk of choking.“Wash all fruit before eating,” Klein says. Organic fruit may have residue from organic fertilizers, which may have fecal debris, he notes, while non-organic fruits may contain pesticides or other harmful chemical residues. He adds that it’s best to chop fruits into chewable pieces relative to the size of the dog.How much tomato should a dog eat?According to the experts, always feed a dog tomato or tomato products like tomato sauce in moderation or in small quantities as a treat. Eating a lot of tomatoes can also cause mild digestive issues, especially if a dog is not accustomed to eating it.What other human foods can dogs eat?A majority of human foods are also safe for dogs. Here are some examples of foods dogs can eat (in moderation):cranberries, blueberries, strawberries, raspberriesmelonspeanuts and cashewscorncooked eggscooked meat, fish, and seafoodbroccoli and cauliflowercelerylettucewheat, grains, and pulsesyogurtcherriesmangokiwibananascucumberpineapplecarrotsgreen beansBrussels sproutsspinachpeasWhat human foods can dogs not eat?Some foods contain toxins that can damage or destroy healthy cells in dogs. Other foods are not safe for a dog to eat because they contain parts that a dog cannot digest, has trouble digesting, or can choke on, or that may damage the esophagus.Here are some foods to never feed a dog:fruit and vegetable pits, cores, pith, skins, peels, stones, or other parts that humans cannot eat safelyapple and mustard seedsmost nuts, including macadamia nuts, almonds, Brazil nuts, and walnutscooking oilsseasoningsgarliconions, leeks, and chiveschocolate and candiesice cream and milkraw meat, fish, eggs, seafood, and bonesraw potatoesavocadosgrapes, raisins, and currantsasparagusmushroomscaffeinealcoholcitrus fruitscoconut fruit, oil, or watersalty foodspackaged foodsyeast doughartificial sweeteners or preservativeshousehold plants or flowersgumhopsmoldy, rotten, or spoiled foodsrhubarb leavesplant leaves, stems, or vinesAdvice for feeding dogs human foodsRemove any peels or skin before feeding dogs human foods like fruits or vegetables. Always wash these foods thoroughly, and remove any pits, stems, seeds, cores, stones, pith, spikes, or any green or inedible parts of the plant.If you would normally cook a fruit or vegetable before eating it yourself, also make sure to cook it before feeding it to a dog.Experts recommend that treats of any kind should only account for 5 to 10 percent of a dog’s total diet or daily caloric intake. Wismer says dogs should get most of their nutrition from their regular diet or foods designed for dogs.While most fruits and vegetables do contain important nutrients that can be beneficial for a dog, many also contain sugar or other components that, in large quantities, can raise the risk of conditions such as diabetes or cardiovascular disease. […]

Is it a good idea to feed dogs grapes?Grapes are a juicy, bite-sized snack that many people enjoy. Grapes are also low-calorie and rich in nutrients such as potassium and fiber.Yet researchers and veterinarians know grapes and grape products are toxic to dogs. Although this information dates back more than 20 years, the precise reason for the toxicity remains unknown.But why can humans eat grapes safely while dogs cannot? How can you tell if your dog is suffering from grape toxicity, and what should you do about it?Here’s what the experts want you to know about whether dogs can eat grapes, as well as grape toxicity in dogs.Can dogs eat grapes?The experts say you should never, under any circumstances, feed a dog grape or grape products because they contain toxins that can cause serious health problems for dogs.“Grapes and raisins can cause life-threatening kidney disease in some dogs,” says Angela Witzel Rollins, DVM, PhD, a professor of veterinary nutrition at the University of Tennessee.She says you should always avoid feeding grape and grape products to dogs. The experts add that currants, a type of grapes, are also toxic to dogs.Why are grapes toxic to dogs?Again, the American Kennel Club (AKC) says researchers still don’t know precisely what toxin or toxic substance in grapes is harmful to dogs. Still, the experts say some research indicates grapes are probably toxic to dogs because they contain tartaric acid.“Grapes contain a compound called tartaric acid,” says Tina Wismer, DVM, the senior director of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) Animal Poison Control Center.“This is an organic acid, and dogs are the only species that do not excrete these compounds quickly. It is thought that this compound will remain for a period of time in the kidney cells and damage them.”How many grapes does a dog need to eat for it to be dangerous?Grapes and grape products are never safe for dogs, regardless of quantity or the dog’s breed, sex, or age. But the size and weight of the dog can influence just how dangerous consuming grapes is for a dog.“Any more than one grape per 10 pounds of body weight is potentially dangerous,” Wismer says. The AKC says eating even one grape or raisin can potentially be fatal for dogs.Can dogs eat grape seed extract?Some research in the Canadian Journal of Veterinary Research suggests grape seed extract may be safe, or even beneficial for dogs, primarily by acting as an antioxidant. Antioxidants protect healthy cells from damage and destruction.The researchers looked at 11 healthy therapy dogs and gave half an antioxidant supplement containing grape seed extract and other ingredients. Dogs who took the supplement had lower triglycerides and markers of oxidative stress.But other research in the EFSA Journal found it’s not entirely clear whether grape seed extract is safe for dogs to consume or not. The experts say your safest bet is to stay away from grape seed extract until there’s more information about its potential toxicity to dogs.Can dogs have grape juice, grape jelly or jam, or other grape products?The experts say never to give a dog any products that contain grapes or are derived from grapes, including grape juice, grape jellies and jams, and anything grape-flavored.Aside from containing toxins, grape products often also contain other ingredients that are not good for dogs, such as sugar, preservatives, fat, and artificial sweeteners.What happens if a dog eats grapes?According to the AKC, symptoms of grape toxicity often develop within a few hours after a dog eats grapes.“The first symptoms of grape ingestion include vomiting and lethargy, followed by increased thirst and urination before the kidneys shut down,” Wismer says.Jennifer A. Larsen, DVM, MS, PhD, a professor of clinical nutrition at the Veterinary Medicine Teaching Hospital, UC Davis in California, adds that grape toxicity can also cause neurological disease in dogs.Signs of grape toxicity in dogs include:reduced appetiteunusual weakness, lethargy, or stillnessdiarrhea and vomitingabdominal pain that is tender upon touchreduced or increased urinationextreme or increased thirstdehydration (panting, pale gums, dry mouth and nose or skin that does not immediately spring back after being stretched out)difficulty breathinglack of consciousnessIrantzu_Arbaizagoitia/Getty ImagesWhat to do if a dog eats grapesIf you suspect your dog ate grapes or grape products, contact your veterinarian or the nearest emergency veterinary clinic as soon as possible. You can also contact the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center for guidance on proceeding by calling 1-888-426-4435.Try to collect information about what exactly your dog ate, how much, and when, as this can be valuable information that can help determine the best course of treatment for your dog. “The amount actually ingested is critical in determining treatment,” Wismer says.The experts say to also have information on hand when seeking emergency care for your dog, such as a dog’s weight and their other health conditions.A veterinarian, veterinary technician, or poison control worker may suggest that you try to force your dog to vomit as soon as possible as long as they are not:already vomitinghaving trouble breathing or swallowingchokingvery lethargic or weakunconscioushaving seizures or being hyperactiveNever induce vomiting in a dog if the dog has consumed sharp or corrosive agents or medications, or has had recent surgery on the abdomen or a swollen or enlarged esophagus. Do not attempt to induce vomiting in a dog without direction from an animal health care professional.How to induce vomiting in dogsThe experts say to induce vomiting in dogs, try putting your finger down their throat or giving them a small meal if they haven’t eaten for at least two hours.According to the AKC, if your dog ate grapes within the last two hours, you can also administer one teaspoon per every five pounds of body weight of a 3 percent hydrogen peroxide solution orally to induce vomiting (maximum dose of three tablespoons for dogs weighing more than 45 pounds).Hydrogen peroxide irritates a dog’s intestinal tract. It tends to cause vomiting within 10 to 15 minutes of administration that may occur for as long as 45 minutes, removing around 50 percent of what your dog ingested.To administer hydrogen peroxide orally to a dog, use a feeding syringe or turkey baster to squirt the solution into the back of the dog’s mouth or tongue, or between their back teeth, and never let the dog inhale the solution. If the dog doesn’t vomit within 15 minutes of being given a hydrogen peroxide solution, you can give a second dose.The AKC says to monitor a dog after you have attempted to induce vomiting, and collect any vomit so a veterinarian can examine it. Also, monitor a dog for additional symptoms or adverse reactions, including diarrhea, increased lethargy, bloat, or vomiting that lasts for more than 45 minutes.Treatment for dogs who eat grapesExperts and animal health organizations say that in many cases, a veterinarian will try to induce vomiting if a dog has eaten grapes fairly recently, which may involve administering hydrogen peroxide solutions orally.If initial attempts to induce vomiting in a dog are not successful, or it has been a long time since the dog ingested grapes or raisins, a veterinarian may give them stronger medications to try to remove the toxins.A veterinarian may also give a dog intravenous (IV) fluids to help restore their electrolyte balance and help “flush out” the toxins from their system faster.Other foods that are dangerous for dogsSome foods contain ingredients that can harm dogs because they are toxic to dogs, hard to digest, pose a choking hazard, or can become stuck in the digestive tract and cause impaction (bowel obstruction).Here are some foods the experts say to avoid feeding to dogs:chocolateice creammost spices and seasoningsmost nuts, including almonds, macadamia nuts, pecans, and walnutsonions, chives, and leeksgarlicbread yeasttomatoesmushroomsalcoholcaffeinecitrus fruitscoconutundercooked or raw meat, bones, or eggsartificial sweeteners such as xylitolsalty or sugary snacks and foodsapple and mustard seedsfruit pits, seeds, cores, stones, and peelsgumhopsmoldy foodsrhubarb leavesSafe foods to feed dogsWhile some foods can pose health complications for dogs, many foods that are safe (and enjoyable!) for you to eat are also safe for dogs. And the experts say giving your dog the occasional human food treat can help diversify their diet, provide excitement and interest, and have nutritional benefits.According to veterinarians and the AKC, here are some common foods you can feed to your dog in moderation:strawberries, blueberries, cranberries, and raspberrieswatermelon and cantaloupeyogurt and milk (in very small amounts)bread and wheat/grain productscooked turkey, chicken, and hamcooked eggssalmon, shrimp, tuna, and most other fishes and seafoodpopcornunflavored, unseasoned peanutspeanut butterhoneyeggscorncheesequinoa and most legumes and pulses (cooked)potatoes (cooked and peeled)pineapplecarrotsbroccoli and cauliflowerkiwicucumbersgreen beanscanned or cooked pumpkinceleryAs a word of warning, experts say you should always remove skins, peels, stems, leaves, spikes, pits, cores, and stones from fruits and vegetable foods before feeding them to dogs.Some vegetables also need to be cooked before being served to dogs for it to be safe, such as potatoes. As a general rule, if you need to cook a type of food before you eat it, it also needs to be cooked before being fed to a dog.Feedings dogs human foodsFeeding dogs human foods every now and then is usually safe, according to the experts. But they say most of a dog’s diet should consist of foods designed specifically to meet dogs’ nutritional needs, and to try to limit snacks to no more than 10 percent of a dog’s total caloric intake. […]