Articles by Daily

INSURANCE & MORTGAGE

Why Single People Need Life Insurance – Life Happens

January 28, 2021 Daily Comments Off on Why Single People Need Life Insurance – Life Happens

Many people wonder if single people need life insurance.
It’s easy to believe the answer is “no.” After all, the main purpose of life insurance is to provide cash to your family if you were to pass away. So it seems logical to think you don’t need life insurance if a spouse or kids aren’t depending on your earnings.
However, there are definite times when single people need life insurance. Here are some of the most common reasons to consider life insurance if you’re flying solo. 
7 Reasons Why Single People Need Life Insurance
You have debt. 
Not saddling others with debt is a major reason why single people need life insurance. This is typically the case when there’s a cosigner on your loan or when you share a mortgage with a friend, relative or someone else. Private student loans can be especially burdensome to your cosigners. That’s because unlike federal loans, they aren’t discharged when you die. This could leave a cosigner like a parent on the hook for many thousands of dollars. Shared mortgages could also leave your fellow borrower in the same predicament. 
An easy and affordable solution if you have debt like this is to get term life insurance. It will step in and pay off your portion of the loan if you were to pass away prematurely. 
You have people who depend on you.
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean people don’t depend on you. Perhaps you’re a single parent with young children. Or you have aging parents or disabled siblings who rely on you. If anyone counts on your income to make ends meet, you almost certainly need some form of life insurance.
You own a business.
In most cases, the financial institution that issues your business loan will require you to have life insurance. That’s to ensure they get their money back if you die before the loan is paid off.
Life insurance is also needed when you have a business partner. Your death will probably leave the business in a lurch. Fortunately, there’s special insurance known as “key person” insurance that can help keep the business afloat in the event of your untimely passing.
You want to pay for final expenses.
Did you know that a funeral can easily cost more than $10,000? (The FTC outlines out all the costs of a funeral in case you’re curious.)
A potential five-figure price tag for a proper burial is a big reason why single people need life insurance. Without it, your friends and family will be on the line to cover those costs. (Or you might not have the send off you would want.)
You want to grow your wealth. 
Life insurance isn’t just there to take care of things if you’re not around. It can also benefit you while you’re living if you have permanent life insurance. Permanent life insurance gives you a death benefit while also accumulating cash value on a tax-deferred basis. You can use that accumulated cash to increase your personal wealth or to buy a home, supplement your retirement income, cover an emergency expense and more.
You want to lock in coverage while you’re young and healthy. 
Your health affects whether you get life insurance and how much you pay for it. Generally speaking, younger people in better health have an easier time getting life insurance. They also usually pay less for it. For these reasons, it’s often a good idea to lock in coverage at an affordable rate when you’re young and healthy. If you wait until you develop a health condition, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to get life insurance coverage. This can be tough news to swallow if you have a partner or children depending on you by that time.
You want to leave a legacy.
Leaving money to a beloved school, religious organization, charity or person is another reason why single people need life insurance. Some or all of the policy’s proceeds could help further a mission near and dear to your heart. It could also help someone realize their dreams if you choose to give the money to someone you care about.
These scenarios show why single people need life insurance. If any one resonates with you, show yourself some love by talking to an insurance professional about your options. We have helpful information on how to choose a qualified insurance professional. And you can easily find one in your area by using our Agent Locator. […]

HEALTH & BEAUTY

20 Lies you Have Been Told About Weight Loss

January 24, 2021 Daily Comments Off on 20 Lies you Have Been Told About Weight Loss

There are myths about weight loss and then there are myths that have been hammered into our minds, and we follow them blindly without questioning their efficacy. For example, for many decades now, we have been made to believe that all forms are fats are bad and would lead to weight gain, whereas the truth […]
The post 20 Lies you Have Been Told About Weight Loss appeared first on Makeupandbeauty.com. […]

Anti-Aging

Best Eye Treatments for Blepharitis and Ocular Rosacea

January 23, 2021 Daily Comments Off on Best Eye Treatments for Blepharitis and Ocular Rosacea

**PLEASE SEE MY UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM**
So, this week I found out I have blepharitis stemming from ocular rosacea.  For a few years now I’ve wondered why my eyes were often red, dry and irritated looking.
Visine would temporarily give me a boost but after about 5 hours I would experience rebound redness which is even worse and it takes a few days to recover.
We all want those beautiful, white eye balls to show off our makeup. After all, your eyes are the first thing that anyone looks at when they meet you!
At first I thought maybe it was allergies, since I test so many beauty products to write about them, but my Dr. assured me it was not allergies (at least there’s that silver lining).
I decided to write about this because I know that many people probably suffer from this condition, and I wanted to share the eye cleansing routine that works for me, and also what products don’t inflame my already sensitive eyes.
What is Blepharitis?
If you’ve found this post, you probably already know what blepharitis is, but in case you don’t, I’ll explain.
Blepharitis (Mayo Clinic link) is a common and ongoing condition where the eyelids become inflamed with oily particles and bacteria coating the eyelid margin near the base of the eyelashes.
This condition can cause redness and irritation, and stinging or burning of the eyes. My main symptoms have been red eyes and dryness of the eyes.
My Dr. determined that I have “posterior blepharitis” which is a dysfunction of the eye’s tiny oil glands in the eyelids at the base of the eyelashes where they often get blocked.
Basically, he said that my eyes underproduce oils and tears. Not a good combination, so now I must use moisture drops and adhere to a strict lid cleansing routine.
Sometimes blepharitis can come with age, which makes sense since I’m in my mid-40’s, and sometimes it’s also hereditary. My mother also has blepharitis and eventually went on to have an eyelid surgery in her late 50’s. More for drooping eyelids, but it was causing problems and aggravating her condition.
What is Ocular Rosacea?
When my Dr. said the blepharitis may stem from having ocular rosacea, I looked at him like he had two heads. I don’t have rosacea of the face (where you can have a lot of redness and flushed skin). But apparently you can have rosacea of the eyeballs!
Ocular rosacea often develops in people who have rosacea, and sometimes ocular rosacea is the first sign that you may later develop the facial type. I’m not happy about that prospect!
So I’m still a little confused if one caused the other or vice versa, but I do know that I’ve improved my symptoms by doing what the Dr. said and it’s only been a few weeks, so I wanted to share my routine.
Eye Lid Cleansing Routine
Wash eyelids (not the inside of the eye, just the lids top and bottom) with Johnson’s baby shampoo (or Aquaphor baby wash) mixed with a little water. I use cleansed fingers and also q-tips to rub the lash lines gently. Use a new q-tip for each eye.
Hot eye compresses for 5-10 minutes for morning and night, as hot as you can stand.
Use a lid scrub (you can do this instead of the baby shampoo) to wipe the lids clean
I bought the OcuSoft Lid Scrub Plus which you can get at the drug store. I didn’t like these personally.
Moisture Drops
Use the preservative free moisture drops 2x a day (the ones in the individual droppers that you throw away).
I’ve been using Refresh Optive Advanced, or the Systane Balance. I did try the bottle type (which has preservatives) and it made my eyes sting, so I won’t use those anymore.
Also, stop and blink 20 times quickly every hour! This helps coat the eyelids and keep them balanced. If you’re staring at a computer screen all day, this is especially helpful.
Supplements to Reduce Inflammation
Take 2000-3000mg per day of Omega 3. This fights inflammation but can take months to take effect, but that’s ok because I’ve always known I was low on Omega 3’s and it’s also great for skin!
I bought the Barlean’s Omega Swirl in Citrus Sorbet. This stuff is delicious!! It takes like a creamscicle – not even a hint of a fishy taste. If this sounds gross, just take the fish oil pills!
Flax Seed Oil or Ground Flax Seed – this is also a good way to get Omega 3. I happen to love putting a tablespoon of each in my smoothies or on yogurt so on those days I won’t take the swirl.
I like the Barlean’s brand of flax seed oil, and the Spectrum brand of the ground flax seed. All of these supplements I buy at Whole Foods and they are in the refrigerated section of the supplements.
Hypoallergenic Anti-Aging Eye Treatment
Having blepharitis made me question the anti-aging products that I use on my eyes. Obviously I can’t use products that are going to irritate my already sensitive eyes but I know that I can’t just leave my eyes with no moisture after doing hot compresses and washing with baby shampoo. All of that is so drying!
I’ve been using the Beautycounter Countermatch Eye Rescue Cream, which contains no irritating chemicals and doesn’t irritate my eyes at all.
I use it both under my eyes and right on my eyelids. Beautycounter products are very calming, soothing and non irritating with no toxic chemicals. And it does a great job of moisturizing my crepy lids, which allows my eyeshadow  to go on smoothly.
*UPDATE 2017*
Ok, so this is a super annoying condition!! My eyes got a lot better for a while, I followed the routine above, and then got slack after about six months. Boy was that a mistake! I think I had my worst flare up ever. I want new eyeballs!!! 😉
I had used visine (HUGE mistake) for a special event and then again the next day, and holy crap my eyes looked like I almost had pink eye, just horribly red, dry and irritated. The rebound redness is no joke.
I’ve learned that with this condition, you can’t ease up on anything. It’s chronic and there is no cure. You just have to keep your symptoms in check.
I’m back on a strict routine and have gotten things under control but there are some things my Dr. added that you may find beneficial. This was a NEW Dr. and I’m so glad I switched. My eyes have improved ten fold and my old Dr. didn’t recommend any of this stuff!
Meibomian Gland Expression – He put numbing drops in my eyes and used a tool to squeeze the lower lids. He said it was thick and came out like toothpaste – super gross. At least he got them a little “unplugged.”
Lotemax Steroid Drops…this has been a Godsend but I know I can’t use it forever since it’s a steroid. It has made my eyes whiter than they have been in a very long time. During my flareup, I used 2x day for a couple weeks, now I’m at once per day in the morning (typically only use 2-3x week now).
Azasite 1% Azithromycin Eye Drops – I used this at night along my lower lids for a couple weeks during my flare up. At first it was a bit stingy so I would just put some on a qtip and gently apply to my inner lower lids. Now I can just pull my lower lid back and put a drop in. I like to do this JUST before bed, so I can just close my eyes. This will help fight infection which can all be a part of this blepharitis condition (bacteria builds up in those glands since they’re not flowing properly). During my flare up I used every night for a week, dropped down  to 3-4 nights per week and did this for about a month, then stopped.
Eyelid self massage – After doing the warm/hot compresses, gently massage your eyelids and push up underneath your eye towards your inner lid, and do the same on the top. Rub downwards. This will help express the clogged oil in your glands. You won’t “see” it coming out. Don’t do what I did and try to get aggressive with a qtip to squeeze stuff out. This broke some capillaries and made my eyes all red! I definitely overdid it in the beginning. Best to be gentle with everything!
Face Steamer – I bought a little Conair face steamer from Macy’s. I couldn’t find one in BBB or Target in store, but they do sell them online. Instead of hot compresses every night, about 3-4 nights I like to steam my whole face for 15 minutes. This will open up your meibomian glands and is great for your skin as well. I flutter my eyelids open and shut during the process. I also put a towel over my head to trap the steam in. Once you’re done steaming, you can do the eyelid massage. Once you’re done, be sure and use your wipes (or baby wash) to cleanse your eyes as the massage and steaming will make the goop form in your eyeballs sometimes.
Fish Oil Supplement – I found that I wasn’t diligent enough to make a smoothy every day and use the flax seed or the Omega swirl, nor was I diligent enough to even take fish oil pills on the regular. I use MCT oil in my coffee each morning and I’ve done this for a year. MCT is a coconut oil extract and it helps my overall condition (and has other benefits as well).
Makeup Changes – I actually quit wearing eye makeup for a whole week when I started this new regime. I threw out all my old makeup and brushes. Even though I cleaned them, you can’t kill all the bacteria in those brushes and I wanted a fresh start. I usually spend quite a bit on makeup and use Mac mascara. Instead I went out and bought all cheap makeup to use until this is under control. I bought Almay mascara and I’m going to throw it away and buy new one every couple of weeks. Mascara is the worst culprit to spread bacteria around your eyes. I love the Almay just as much as the Mac so apparently I’ve been over paying for mascara all this time! LOL Now I wear makeup again all the time! However I NEVER use eyeliner on the inside of my bottom lashes, which I miss doing… not worth it.
Pillow cases – Wash them twice per week, bacteria builds up on pillow cases quickly.
Eye Mask To Sleep – My husband sleeps with the overhead fan on and a small table fan (yes, two) so the air flow was killing me. I bought one of those masks from BBB that has the concave eyes so it doesn’t touch your eyelashes. This helped my eyes from drying out over night. Sometimes I would wake up and could hardly blink because they were so dry!! (For the record, it was too hard to keep this up, once my eyes got better I found I didn’t need the mask, but in a flare up it might be beneficial).
Humidifier – I bought a small humidifier from BBB and keep it next to my bed and leave it on low during the night. I did this for a few weeks, it didn’t seem to make much difference so I stopped doing it.
Eye drops next to bed – First thing I do now when I wake up is put a drop of the Refresh Advanced Optive (the single use ones) in my eyes to freshen them up. They are always the most dry when I wake up.
Anti-inflammatory diet – I’ve been eating a low carb/ketogenic diet which is an anti-inflammatory diet (high fat/low carb/moderate protein). Dr.’s say that blepharitis is a chronic condition that you can’t cure, but I think that’s crap. Western Dr.’s just don’t seem to want to consider diet, they just want to write those scripts.
If you reduce the inflammation in your body, you’re going to have less inflammation in your eyes, and rosacea is inflammation.  There is a supplement I’ve been taking called Keto OS which is exogenous ketones in a drink that puts your body into ketosis which is exactly what the ketogenic diet does.  I use the MCT oil in my coffee in the mornings, and drink one Keto Nat per day in the afternoon.
So, I think I’ve found the best possible work out/fat loss supplement that I could possibly use that also helps my eye condition!  I still do my warm compresses, lotemax drops and drink the ketones daily and my condition is totally kept under control.  I have done this for TWO YEARS NOW and my life is much improved!
As you can see, this blepharitis condition is a huge pain in the ass! However, I’ve settled into a routine now and I just have to do it just like I have to brush my teeth.
Do you have blepharitis? I would love to hear about the treatments that work for you, leave comments below!
How Women Found This Review:
and eye cream suitable for eyelashes, and eye drops for blepharitis, and ocular rosacea wipes […]

God's Love

15 Bible Verses For Experiencing Life

January 22, 2021 Daily Comments Off on 15 Bible Verses For Experiencing Life

As we go about living lives dedicated to God, every aspect of our lives will reflect the presence of Christ, our joy, our sorrow, our work, our communities. God will become the center point of our lives from which everything else stems. As we grow in faith, hope, and ability to love, here are 15 Bible verses for experiencing life. […]

God's Love

Will You Wake Up a Christian Tomorrow?

January 22, 2021 Daily Comments Off on Will You Wake Up a Christian Tomorrow?

There are two ways that God’s children could conceivably fail in the Christian life. One is for us to turn away from God. And the other is for God to turn away from us. Jeremiah, amazingly, says that in the days to come — the days of the new covenant — neither of these will happen:

I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. (Jeremiah 32:40)

“God doesn’t just require holiness; he promises it to his people.”

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God “will not turn away from doing good to [us].” And he will work in us “that [we] may not turn from [him].” That is how God’s providence brings his people to everlasting glory. In other words, God doesn’t just require holiness; he promises it to his people. Therefore, the holiness that God requires of his people on their path to glory is absolutely certain. It will not fail. This certainty is revealed in Scripture with clarity for all to see.
The aim of that clear revelation is the joyful, confident, wholehearted, vigilant pursuit of holiness (Hebrews 12:14) and glory (Romans 2:6–7), because God has made it so sure. As Paul says in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” Paul labors to seize Christ as his prize, because Christ has seized him. This is the mystery of sanctification that so many people find incomprehensible — that the certainty of belonging to Christ would make us vigilant to lay hold on Christ! I am praying that you will find this not bewildering but beautiful. If it starts as an enigma of confusion, I pray it ends as energy for Christ.
Greatest Passage on Preservation
The clearest and fullest promise that God will give us all we need and infallibly bring us to glory is Romans 8:28–39. It is manifestly designed to give fearless confidence to God’s children in the face of tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger, and sword (Romans 8:35).
The context is the global suffering of all people and the groaning of creation under its subjection to futility and corruption (Romans 8:18–25). All the universe is groaning. Believers share the pain and perplexity. We often do not know how to pray. In this context of universal suffering and perplexity even in prayer, Paul says, in effect, “We may not know how to pray (Romans 8:26), but we do know something!” “We [do] know that for those who love God all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28). That is the beginning of the most exalted of all Scriptures concerning the absolute assurance believers can have in the face of Satan, sin, sickness, and sabotage.
God works everything — everything! — for the good of those who love God and are called by him. This promise contains the entire commitment of God to do everything necessary for the eternal good of his people. We see this in the argument that follows. Paul supports this massive promise with the assertion that, beginning in eternity past (foreknown) and extending to eternity future (glorified), God is committed, at every step of the way, to bringing his people to glory:

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son. . . . And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. (Romans 8:29–30)

The point of this golden chain is this: no link breaks. Nobody falls out. Every foreknown one becomes a predestined one. Every predestined one becomes a called one. Every called one becomes a justified one. Every justified one becomes a glorified one. Few things could be clearer or more glorious. Assurance! Confidence! Stability! Courage!
The mention of the “called” in this chain links back to verse 28, which is a promise to “those who are called.” That link helps us see that what Paul is describing in this chain is the “good” he had promised in verse 28. God works all things for our good. And the good is conformity to Christ (Romans 8:29) and unfailing glorification (Romans 8:30).
The Surest Sign That God Is for Us
After Paul gives the massive foundation for our assurance in Romans 8:28–30, he steps back and asks, “What then shall we say to these things?” (Romans 8:31). Here’s what we shall say: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” If the omnipotent, all-planning, all-accomplishing God is committed to our good and not to our harm, then no adversary can succeed in breaking the chain that brings us to glory.
But lest anyone doubt that God is for us, Paul invites us to consider once more what Romans has been about for eight chapters: God’s giving his Son to bear our condemnation (Romans 8:3) and become our righteousness (Romans 5:19). So, Paul says it again and reveals the indissoluble connection between the death of Christ and the promise of Romans 8:28:

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

“God works all things for our good. And the good is conformity to Christ and unfailing glorification.”

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The logic of the verse is clear and strong: not sparing his own Son is the hardest thing God has ever done. Since he did this hardest thing “for us all” — that is, for all who love God and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28) — we know that there is nothing he will not do to bring us to himself in glory. Nothing is harder than offering his Son. He did that. For us. It follows that he will not fail to “give us all things” — that is, all that we need in order to be conformed to his Son (Romans 8:29) and then glorified (Romans 8:30).
Everything Hangs on God’s Faithfulness
The rest of Romans 8:31–39 deepens and broadens the claim that nothing can “separate us from the love of Christ” (Romans 8:35) and “from the love of God in Christ” (Romans 8:39). The main point of Romans 8:28–39, for our purposes here, is that “those whom he called . . . he also glorified” (Romans 8:30). He sees to it that all of his converted people make it to glory. Our glorification is so sure that Paul speaks of it as accomplished, though it is yet future.
This is not a promise that bypasses God’s demand for Christlikeness in holiness and love. God’s promise to conform us to Christ is precisely what predestination guarantees. All the foreknown are “predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son” (Romans 8:29). This happens through our calling, our justification, and finally our glorification (Romans 8:30). The implications for our lives are these: Be strong in faith. Be unshakable in the assurance that God is for you, and will bring you to glory. Be done with fear. Be full of joy. Be overflowing with courageous love for others.
We can think about what Paul has done in Romans 8:28–39 another way: he has established God’s faithfulness. From all that Paul has said, it is clear that there is nothing mechanical or natural or automatic about our conformity to Christ and our glorification. All of it is dependent on God’s action.
Many people have mechanical, or even biological, conceptions of eternal security. They think of once-saved-always-saved similar to the way an inoculation works. They think, “When I was saved, God inoculated me against condemnation. It’s built-in — the way disease-preventing antibodies are in the blood.” That way of thinking about the assurances given by Paul in Romans 8:28–39 is mistaken. Everything hangs on God, not on built-in spiritual antibodies. If God is not faithful to the promises made here, we will perish. Our perseverance in faith, our conformity to Christ, and our final glorification depend on whether God is faithful — day by day and forever.
I often ask people, How do you know you will wake up a Christian tomorrow morning? The bottom-line answer is that God will cause you to wake up a Christian, or you won’t. God will be faithful. God will keep you. Everything hangs on the faithfulness of God to his promise: “Those whom he called . . . he also glorified.”
All of God’s Majesty Serves Your Keeping
None of the requirements for making it to glory have been revoked. That is not how God gives assurance. The obedience required has not been repealed. It has been promised. “I will . . . cause you to . . . be careful to obey my rules” (Ezekiel 36:27). The conformity to Christ that God commands has not been rescinded. It has been predestined. “Those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son” (Romans 8:29). The fear of failure is not remedied by abolishing obligations. It is remedied by God’s faithfulness. “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24).
These promises that God will create in us what he commands from us are so magnificent that they elicit from Jude one of the most exalted doxologies in the Bible:

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 24–25)

If you woke up a Christian this morning, this is how you should feel. Glory, majesty, dominion, and authority have been at work for you while you slept. Your being kept for a joyful meeting with God has been promised. God is faithful. He will do it.
John Piper’s book Providence releases in March. You can now preorder the title from our friends at Westminster Books for just 19.99. We’re thankful for their partnership and encourage you to order through them as you consider supporting faithful, independent Christian booksellers. […]

God's Love

There Is a Time to Stand Up – FaithGateway

January 22, 2021 Daily Comments Off on There Is a Time to Stand Up – FaithGateway

After serious thought, I rebuked the nobles and rulers, and said to them, “Each of you is exacting usury from his brother.” So I called a great assembly against them. And I said to them, “According to our ability we have redeemed our Jewish brethren who were sold to the nations. Now indeed, will you even sell your brethren? Or should they be sold to us?”
Then they were silenced and found nothing to say. Then I said, “What you are doing is not good. Should you not walk in the fear of our God because of the reproach of the nations, our enemies?” — Nehemiah 5:7-9
After Nehemiah spent valuable time backing off, he then moved to the next step in conflict resolution: there is a time to stand up. And that is exactly what he did. Nehemiah boldly stood up and confronted those he believed to be in the wrong and whose actions had initiated the conflict. “I rebuked the nobles and rulers, and said to them, ‘Each of you is exacting usury from his brother’” (Nehemiah 5:7). Nehemiah “rebuked” the elders and brought them face-to-face with the point of contention — they were charging interest to their own Jewish brothers who were in financial need, and in so doing brought “reproach” (Nehemiah 5:9) upon the people of God.
It is important to note that conflict resolution never means backing off and giving in at any cost. Nehemiah was a strong and effective leader. After backing off to listen to his heart, he stood up and rebuked those who were in the wrong.

Conflict resolution is never simply another form of pacifism.

One afternoon on a grassy green hillside on the northern shore of the Sea of Galilee, Jesus addressed this very point in His well-known and often quoted Sermon on the Mount. He pronounced a blessing on the “peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9, emphasis added), not the “peace lovers.”
Yes, we should love peace, but we should not seek it at the cost of sacrificing what we know to be right. There are times when nations and individuals have to “make peace” by standing up and not just backing off.
One example of a person who cared enough to confront is found in a man named Nathan. Most of us remember the well-known Bible story of King David lusting after a lady named Bathsheba so that he eventually committed adultery with her and sent her husband into battle, where he was killed. He didn’t want his family or friends to find out about it. Like so many today, he was foolish enough to think he could cover it up with lies and deceit so that no one would ever know. But David was fortunate enough to have a trusted friend who refused to simply back off and pretend it didn’t happen. Nathan cared enough to stand up and confront the king, who was on a collision course with exposure and defeat. He stood up courageously, in confidence and with love. David came clean. It hurt, but it also healed.
The sad truth in many relationships today is that too many simply cut what they could have untied. Some are quick to criticize instead of confront. Others seem to find joy in condemning. Then there are those who only want to castigate. Still others are quick to give their own self-righteous counsel. And, finally, some find it more convenient to simply cancel out of the relationship altogether. This is not how God wants His people to stand up for what is right.
Consider the apostle Paul’s teachings. In Galatians 6:1-2, he called on us to “restore” the one who was in the wrong. The Greek word he chose, which we translate “restore” in our English Bibles, is actually a medical term. It was used to describe a physician who sees a man with a broken bone in his arm, and he puts it back into place so that it can mend and be useful again. Only God, the Great Physician, can truly heal relationships that need to be mended, but it is our job to get the bones properly aligned so that He can do His healing work. This, like the work of the physician, is often painful, but it is also necessary.
When we continuously back off and do not stand up, our conflicts tend to fester like an untreated boil that needs to be lanced or like a broken bone that is not properly set in place. While we may be trying to avoid pain, a refusal to stand up to wrong can actually result in even more pain and agitation in our relationships. On the other hand, we all have witnessed unresolved conflicts that are the result of someone standing up (often in anger), without first backing off to listen to his or her heart. In conflict resolution it is never a matter of “either… or,” rather it is “both… and.” There is definitely a time to stand up, but Nehemiah’s example demonstrates that it should only come after a time of backing off. Rebuilders never cut what they can untie because they are convinced… it’s never too late for a new beginning!
Excerpted with permission from The Nehemiah Code by O. S. Hawkins, copyright O. S. Hawkins.
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Your Turn
There is a time to stand up. Conflict resolution is never simply another form of pacifism. Spend time with the Lord, back off, don’t let the conflict fester. Speak up! We want to hear from you! ~ Devotionals Daily […]

FAMILY & MONEY

I Pay Male Escorts For No-Strings Sex And It’s The Best I’ve Ever Had’

January 22, 2021 Daily Comments Off on I Pay Male Escorts For No-Strings Sex And It’s The Best I’ve Ever Had’

At 29, my boyfriend of two and a half years turned round one day and told me he didn’t want a long-term relationship. He was living in my house and everything seemed perfect, but he was three years younger and had had an epiphany that he still wanted to travel the world. It was predictable. It was painfully unoriginal. I was crushed.
He moved out to start his new life – drinking the same pints in a hotter climate – and though I wasn’t ready for another boyfriend, after a few weeks, I craved some fun and excitement. I needed sex. I needed skin-to-skin contact and the rush of flirting.
I work a 9-5 office job for a marketing company in Brighton, which did little to get my mind off my loneliness, so I downloaded all the dating apps. But it felt hopeless. Casual dating in your mid-twenties is exhausting enough, but on the cusp of your thirties? Excruciating. There were the men I was stuck in perpetual pen pal status with, who ghosted me as soon as I applied the pressure to actually meet up. (Really, why is this a thing?) There were the men who turned up to dates looking nothing like their profile. There were others I knew I had zero sexual chemistry with from the moment we locked eyes. I felt defeated. These apps only caused me distress and one-night stands were hardly worth the next morning awkwardness on the pleasure front. Was it too much to ask to have a period of time focused on myself, having fun with friends, but also getting laid with a man I fancied, who didn’t want commitment, yet popped over to satisfy me at my every whim? It seemed so.

Zoya Kaleeva

Four months after the breakup, my friend convinced me to take a look at the escorting site Envvy. She’d worked on it as an escort herself for years and told me to consider ‘ordering’ a guy to get the sexual ball rolling. We were a few margaritas down at a bar and she assured me that people who pay for sex aren’t just losers who can’t get a shag in normal life. ‘I’ve had young clients, even quite hot ones,’ she said, ‘It’s usually about the thrill.’
Later that night, I tucked myself up in bed, vibrator at the ready for another Saturday night of solo masturbation, and paused. I decided have a quick browse of the escorting site instead. Obviously, I was curious. As I scrolled down the never-ending images of men in my local area, there were some guys I wouldn’t go near, but there were some I most definitely would. Photos ranged from mirror selfies in their underpants, to professionally edited photos that spoke of experience. Abs were plentiful.
Could I follow through with this? I’ve always thought of myself as a bit of an awkward prude, but perhaps now was the time to push myself out of my comfort zone. Albeit in the wildest way possible.

There was a commitment to my pleasure and my needs that I’d never experienced before

It was about 1am when I hit send on a message to Reece*. He was 6ft 4inch with abs you could grate a slab of granite on, never mind block of cheese. His face was nice enough and his smile friendly – if it was actually his. ‘What if these photos weren’t of him?’ I thought. ‘What if a killer con turned up at my door, or arguably worse, someone old and hideous?’ He replied the next day asking straightforward questions about time and date logistics. The exchange felt professional, as if I were booking a PT session. I got Reece* to send a selfie holding up a photo of my name and exhaled a sigh of relief. Looking into how the site vets escorts helped me relax further. He asked me about what kind of fantasies I had in mind, but I told him I’d rather we just have a drink and get to know each other as ‘normally’ as we could. Our session was set for Friday night, his rate £160 for two hours – cheaper than I expected.
I was distracted at work that day with more butterflies than your average Friday feeling. As soon as I got home, I gulped a glass of wine and got put on a dress and heels, as if I was going on a proper date. I was shaking with nerves, but mainly over worries that he’d see me and turn away. I’d heard they could do that. What if he thought I wasn’t worth the £160?
By the time he knocked at the door, I was a bottle of wine deep. I answered sheepishly, gripping onto a nearly empty wine glass. He chuckled and entered, letting me know that, ‘It’s everyone’s first time once’ and that there was no need to be nervous. ‘You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. Let’s have a glass of wine,’ he said.
We chatted about our lives, he asked me about my job and how I’d found him. It felt very similar to an actual date, as if we’d come back to mine after a Tinder meet up – bar me slipping him cash in an envelope, of course. The intimacy happened naturally. It started with a light stroke of my arm and cheeky touch of my bum, there was nothing clinical or forced about it. He didn’t ask me for directions on how to turn me on, I just let him do his thing.

Zoya Kaleeva

The sex was incredible. It was as if he knew everything my body craved before I did. There was a commitment to my pleasure and my needs that I’d never experienced before. It felt selfless. He wasn’t expecting anything in return and he didn’t allow me to try. It was all about me. As he left, I told him his price was selling him seriously short.
Afterwards, I did feel a little dirty. But only in the way a one-time hook up always makes you feel, in the back of your mind. I still worried that it was embarrassing. Fear struck me at the thought of anyone I knew finding out. My quest for sex had gone to the utmost extreme, but this was wholly more satisfying than any bumbling idiot in a bar would be. By the second time, I felt empowered and liberated. I saw the same guy three times in total, on a monthly basis, my self-care treat as it were. Obviously, I was fully aware that our relationship was strictly business, but it was nice to feel familiar. We kept in contact and had brief chats while arranging our next meetings. It felt almost like a friendship. There was no stress over what any of it meant, I wasn’t bogged down trying to read ‘the signs’.
My fourth experience using the site was far more dramatic. Reece* was on holiday and I was disappointed, but my escort friend convinced me to give someone else ago. I chose a guy for his excellent abs, once again, but this time didn’t ask for a verification photo. I still don’t fully understand why. Partly, I thought it’d add some excitement not knowing who would show up and I think I felt silly seeing asking after how smoothly it’d gone last time. I assumed this time it’d be the same. His body seemed good enough for his face to be, but his face ended up being the biggest problem of them all.

The sex was incredible. It was as if he knew everything my body craved before I did

It was my ex. Our jaws dropped. I asked him what the hell he was doing here and he said, ‘I’m Tom,’ in disbelief. He was using a fake name and though I’d used my real name on the site, it was generic and I’d moved flats since we last saw each other, so he didn’t recognise the address. It couldn’t have been more awkward, but we started hysterically laughing and I told him to come in. I still had a box of his belongings left behind during the break up, so I gave it to him. This made us laugh more. We caught up and he told me about his brief stint around Asia. Then he asked if he was staying or going. ‘Well, you’re here now, aren’t you?’ I replied.
We had sensational sex, one of our best, and he told me not to pay him, but I felt bad about using one of his slots and wanted to keep this strictly business. He was charging £70 an hour so I insisted on giving him £50, deducting money he owed me from our last gas bill, as a joke. The experience was entirely unexpected and hilarious, but afterwards, I was in a blind panic worrying about how easy it’d be for my secret to get out. I swore Tom* to keep this between us, but the fear that it could slip out to any one of our mutual friends still haunts me.
I’ve obviously told my escort friend about these experiences, but no one else close to me. The thought of it getting out to my friends, family or colleagues makes me feel sick. I may feel empowered, but I know what they’d think. I don’t want their pity, questions or judgements. It might change their entire perception of me. I want this to remain my own thrilling secret.
Tom* ended up being the last guy I managed to ‘order’ before Covid-19 hit. Right now, I’m missing any human contact, never mind the best sex of my life. I’m having to trust that my secret will stay safe and that it’ll be old news by the time we’re ‘released’. Still, the inner turmoil has never once made me seriously consider stopping. There have been too many hassle free orgasms for that. I’m counting down the days till I can get my next fix.
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